Things said in the wilderness, my new nemesis, family time and a challenge issued…

Say what?
Random guy to other random guys: You still choppin’ up them dead animals? [insert banjo music in the background here]

Random waitress: Y’all are from Florida? Well, why’d ya come here?

Me to park ranger: Do we have to watch out for bears?

Park Ranger to me: Nah, we haven’t had too many bears this season.

Me responding to park ranger (but with my inside voice): Wait, what do you mean by “not too many”? Please, don’t leave me I really need more detail!

Park Ranger to all of us: Avoid the skunks.

Me to me: Is it common for folks around these parts to not avoid them? Is this a thing? Like Hillbilly Hand-fishing? I did not see it on the Virginia Board of Tourism site.

Me to bike rental dude: How tough are the mountain biking trails out here?

Bike rental dude to me: Pretty easy just watch out for the sheer drop offs into the trees.

Me to everyone in the family: You must deal with your flatulence outside of the camper!

Every story needs a villain
Still fresh off my previous public shower trauma I find myself under attack once again. This time, it was a creepy-eat-your-face-off-horror movie-ninja-spider. Stealthily, hiding in the folds of the shower curtain waiting to reveal himself once I was at my most vulnerable. Rinse soap out of eyes and BAM there he was all hidden tiger crouching dragon ready to pounce. I mean, he actually never moved, but the point is he could have and probably would have, I think.

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Nowhere to run to, nowhere to hide
At home, we have a house with rooms and televisions, and WiFi, and Netflix, and Apple TV, and really safe showers (just saying). It isn’t like we don’t spend time together as a family we make a point to do so, but the fact remains with the distractions of work, electronics, and the kids now teenagers with interests of their own quality time as a family is in shorter supply.

Family time was one of the main reasons we chose to buy the camper. No distractions, just family time and guess what? It is actually working. After a couple of days of bickering, the boys finally realized this was it – love and enjoy the ones you are with because you have no place to hide. The days are busy with adventures and the nights are filled with stargazing, epic Uno battles and serious belly laughs. Well, played mom and dad, well played.

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Gentlemen, start your engines
We are a competitive family. It doesn’t matter if it is an outdoor activity, a household chore, or a game of Uno. Our family motto “Vomacka’s never give up!”

So, when a family pulled up next to us with a pop-up camper, I was anxious to see just how long it would take them to set up.

These folks were pros. They jumped out of the car with military precision while the dad yelled “the faster we set up the quicker you eat.” Like an Indy pit crew they all grabbed tools worked their magic and had everything set up in 25 minutes (Yes, I timed them. I told you we are competitive). I am sure they thought us very strange staring at them with our mouths agape with a look of wonder and a hint of jealousy in our eyes.

Challenge accepted strangers from the north, challenge accepted.

Naked and Afraid

Arriving at our campsite at 5 p.m. on Monday night left us with about 3 hours to set up camp, go into town for perishables, get the campfire going and dinner cooked before dark. In our practice run it only took about 45 minutes to set up and that included breaking the awning so we should be golden, right?

Wrong, several hours later we were still not finished and with everyone reaching critical levels of hangry (the point at which you surpass hungry loose all rational thought and go straight to angry land) Scott and Dylan headed to “town” to get some much-needed food.

Somewhere around midnight we finally had full bellies, our campsite setup, and some serious stargazing complete. Exhausted, we all crawled into our sleeping bags but for me sleep was elusive given my belief that every sound I heard was a “hangry” bear.

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Happy to have not been eaten by a bear the next morning was filled with a spectacular sunrise over the mountains, blissful 63-degree weather and a campfire breakfast of bacon, eggs, and potatoes and peppers.
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Please keep hands and feet inside the vehicle at all times we are now exiting the comfort zone.

Feeling like a bad ass pioneer girl I was now ready to tackle the public showers.

Okay, let me just make sure I have everything:

Shower shoes? Check
Soap? Check
Towel? Check
Change of clothes? Check
Inspect showers for any critters? Check and check

Lock shower door so old lady doesn’t walk in on me wearing nothing but my birthday suit and bright red Crocs?

Not checked.

Having scratched public nudity off my list, we headed to Luray Caverns where Dylan was not the least bit enthralled with the idea that we were headed 163 feet underground. I can’t really blame him though living in Florida if you find yourself that far underground then you’ve probably been swallowed by a sink hole. The day concluded with a late afternoon nap, sunset walk, and campfire s’mores.

Day two skipped morning shower in order to avoid running into my buddy again (even if she remembered nothing else the bright red Croc/nudity combo had to leave an impression).

After so much excitement packed into our previous day, we opted for a relaxing three-hour float down the Shenandoah River. Surrounded by the mountains and a cool breeze I could have easily drifted down the river fast asleep had I not noticed out of the corner of my eye that Dylan had suddenly picked up speed and started to move far too quickly ahead of the rest of us. Never one to panic Dylan simply sat upright in his tube and saluted us as he drifted away and yelled “Gentlemen, it has been an honor serving with you.” There goes, my baby! Wait, not a baby a twelve-year-old boy who needs my protection less and less every day and that’s a good thing. Right?
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Day three, since our camp site was less than 90 minutes outside D.C. we made an impromptu decision to head to Stephan F. Udvar-Hazy Air & Space museum to check out the space shuttle and then to the National Mall for the what I am sure looked like a sequel to the a Griswold’s Grand Canyon tour.

My interest in space and flight mostly revolves around it working properly but seeing the space shuttle was definitely a bucket list item. Looking at this mammoth beast that was essentially exploded into space and returned safely not once but 39 times flying approximately 148,221,675 miles is a mind-blowing engineering marvel. The audacity it took to build it and fly it is an inspiring human marvel.

Speaking of marvels, the National Mall is certainly a testament to the human spirit and especially so close to Independence day. My husband’s father fought in Vietnam and sadly lost his best friend during that time. My husband is named after that friend and was overwhelmed with emotion as he looked at his namesake etched into the wall. I can’t say what brought on the emotions perhaps it was a mixture of gratitude for a sacrifice made by a man he’s never met or a connection to a part of his father’s life he’s never really known or the realization of how close he came to never being.

I am always moved by the way in which we humans push boundaries and face fears large and small. Whether it is friends fighting for survival, astronauts exploring the universe or families trying something new together.

Everyone feels a little naked and afraid when trying something new (for me it was both literal and figurative) it is what waits on other side that makes it all worthwhile? So, go get naked! Eww, put your clothes back on, I meant it metaphorically.

Until next time Happy Camping.

Oh, and just in case you are in the area here are a few recommendations:

Shenandoah River State Park – We feel extraordinarily lucky our first run at “roughing it” was here. The Rangers were attentive but not intrusive. The campsites were very well kept and the bathrooms and showers were spotless. Each site was nicely tucked away so we did not feel like we were right on top of our neighbors.

Eats – If you want a life-changing sandwich stop at West Main Market in Luray, Virginia. Then swing by the a Gathering Grounds for delicious coffee and desserts the size of your face.

Just because – If you’re so inclined you might want to kick in a few bucks to help the Page theater convert to digital. Theaters across the nation including the IMAX Dome Theater located at the Museum of Science & Industry, where I spend my non-vacationing hours, because of the expense to print on film most studios are only using digital formats. This means tiny family owned and operated and museum nonprofit theaters across the country will need to spend hundreds of thousands to millions to continue showing movies.

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Are we there yet?

“Mom, have you ever been so bored that when you look out of the car window and stare up at the clouds you see Massachusetts?” – Spencer, age 13

Did I mention I hate road trips? Anyone who has been in a car with me for over an hour is well aware. To road trip with me is to love me. No, seriously you must love me or at least like me a lot because it is the only way I can be assured you won’t push me out of the vehicle barreling down the highway (threats have been made).

I blame my parents. Don’t we all. What happened you ask? Were my parents gypsy’s that traveled from place to place grifting innocent townspeople? Or, did they lock me in the trunk to keep me from telling the police who they really were and what they were really carrying in their luggage? No, it was so much worse.

They took me to Iowa.

I know. Awful, right? Take a moment to collect yourself.

Year after year of 22-hour car trips with my poor father searching for some secret passageway to get us there without going through Indiana. Love the Hoosiers but driving through Indiana is like being stuck in the lobotomized mind of the most boring person in the world.

When I have kids, we will fly everywhere and visit only exotic locations in foreign lands is the promise I made to my teenage self. Actually, I probably just made several loud sighs and rolled my eyes but you get the gist.

The funny thing is when I look back now as an adult and as a parent I can’t recall what was so awful (except the drive through Indiana nothing to be done about that).

In fact, as it turns out those road trips actually helped shaped many parts of who I am today and taught a few valuable lessons.

I learned boredom is simply a circumstance and that with imagination there is no circumstance in which one is bored.

Road trips helped to cultivate my ferocious love of books and why still today I look forward to vacations simply for the luxury of uninterrupted reading.

I learned everyone has a story and every story is interesting if you just listen. Like the farmers talking about their crops or town politics while having coffee on a rainy morning at The Little Red Hen House restaurant just outside of Indiana.

I learned to have a conversation. In case, you aren’t aware teenage girls talk, a lot. Much like a predator needs prey to define them a teenage girl needs to talk. So, with only my parents to talk to and my very existence on the line I did the unthinkable – spoke to my parents. With equal interest, we talked about Barbies, my favorite music groups, politics, social matters, and how much we hated driving through Indiana. We talked to each other not as parent to child but as people and from that I learned the difference between talking and having a conversation.

Perhaps, traveling with my husband and children I will learn that life is so much more than the destination but what you experience along the way and come to love road trips.

I won’t lie there are still moments that I look out the car window and stare up at the clouds and see Massachusetts but if you think about it taking a moment to stop, look to the sky, and imagine seems pretty worthwhile to me.

Until next time Happy Camping.

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Fourteen days, two teenagers, one camper, zero experience, really what could go wrong?

I do this a lot. I get an idea I want to do, can do, or should do something and before I realize I actually don’t want to do it, can’t do it, or definitely shouldn’t do it, I find myself smack dab in the middle of it with no choice but to see it through.

So, here I am with a brand new pop up camper that’s never been slept in and only been set up once for a practice run during which we broke the awning. What? I said it was practice. Never one to be deterred by obstacles of inexperience we have now begun our 14-day family camping adventure with a 900-mile trek to Northern Virginia, Shenandoah Valley area.

This all started innocent enough with my husband and I wanting our boys to experience the national parks while they were old enough to keep the memories with them but young enough to grow up with a passion for protecting them. Most importantly we know while the days are long the years are short and family vacations are for going on adventures, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and making memories.

So, fingers crossed as we head into a wilderness of scarce Starbucks sightings, spotty wifi, no TV (thank God the Game of Thrones season is over), and learn how to talk to each in more than 140 characters.

Gotta go I have 900 miles to Google; how to avoid a bear attack, what to cook on a campfire (assuming there isn’t delivery at the campsite), what poison oak, ivy, and ticks look like, types of banjo music to avoid, and possibly cost of return flights to Tampa.

Until next time happy camping…
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